


Life is A Fanfic

by velvetcadence



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: A Very Meta AU, Charles Is a Big Dorkface, Erik is a Big Dorkface, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:46:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetcadence/pseuds/velvetcadence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik secretly writes fanfiction in his spare time. Charles pretends that he doesn't fanboy over them. When they meet cute in real life, it's just a matter of time before they stumble into each others' dirty little secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt over [here!](http://xmen-firstkink.livejournal.com/8074.html?thread=17146762#t17146762)
> 
> For the purposes of this fic, Magneto and X are comic book characters and are separate from Charles and Erik, who will be living in this AU.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The italicized section is intentionally badfic. Don't take this fic too seriously, hahaha!

It was Friday evening, and instead of hanging out at the bar with his friends, Charles was in front of his laptop with a tub of ice cream and tears dramatically streaming down his cheeks.

* * *

 

_They parted ways in perfect weather, with the sun beating down their faces and the breeze bringing in the salt of the ocean. The armada of ships waited to bring about the Third World War, set against the scenic blue of the horizon. Herr Schmidt’s blood dripped onto the sand._

_X inanely recalled a fairytale he’d once read to Mystique as a child while they giggled under the bed sheets._  ‘And she pricked her finger on the window sill, bleeding onto the snow. “How I wish for a child with skin pale like snow, hair black like ebony and lips red as blood!” 

_Terror rose like a stench from the gathering of ships, and X almost stumbled with it, his head still ringing in the aftermath of Schmidt’s death._

_“Don’t—” He began, as Magneto twisted his hand and redirected the course of the ship’s missiles, back towards the very men that fired them. “No! Please! We have to be the better men! We cannot afford a war!”_

_“It’s too late for that,” Magneto said, “We must choose sides now. War is an inevitability.”_

‘And the queen’s wish was granted.’

_X had survived Schmidt dying in his mind, but he would not live to see the destruction of so many men. It would drive him mad. The clamor of so many terrified minds amplified._

_He did not recall falling, but he did remember the loss of feeling in his limbs, falling boneless with gravity, the sun glaring in his eyes overhead. Magneto called his name, and he heard it like he was underwater, like the world slowed just so he could watch himself escape death as the missiles lost focus and dwindled into the endless blue of the ocean._

_Then he was being held like he was something to be cherished, and he felt devastated at the injustice of it all. “I want you by my side,” Magneto professed, his hold gentle though his words were passionate. “We belong together. We want the same thing.”_

_X glanced up, and Magneto eclipsed the sun, his face caged in the helmet that his mother’s murderer had worn. And this, he knew, would drive them further and further apart with time. He felt the shift already, like Pangaea dividing to separate continents with oceans between them._

_Magneto would no more stay than he could ask X to leave._

_“Oh, my love,” X could only say, his fingers itching to remove the metal that blotted Magneto out of his senses, made him an illusion, made him dead. He curled them on the front of his suit instead. “No, we do not.”_

_He let him go. He watched him take his sister and every miserable drop of love he had to spare in a puff of red and the scent of sulfur. Magneto would wage war and bring the world to its knees, X knew. He refused to be part of that world. It would break his heart, to see the lines so clear between them, but it was not something to bring a child into._

_The child. X reached out to it, his hand flying to the flat of his abdomen as if he could wake him with a touch. But he wasn’t there. He wasn’t there_  he wasn’t there he—

_“I can’t feel him. I can’t. I can’t.” X began muttering, his hands coming to clutch at his front. “I can’t feel him...I can’t feel him._  I can’t feel him. I can’t feel him!”  _He keeled, clutched at fistfuls of sand as a shudder tore through him like a punch to the gut and he finally noticed the warmth flooding down his thigh. Blood. He was bleeding._

_The child. The child. Magneto’s child. Quiet, still, dead to his senses, just like Magneto with the murderer’s helmet on._

_His anguish ripped through his throat as he mourned for the love that broke him, for the future never realized, and for the child that would never be, until it dotted his voice with specks of red._

_X lost everything he loved on a clear blue day, when the trees swayed like skeletons and the ocean smelled like tears._

* * *

 Charles had to close his laptop and put his ice cream away. Then he lay back and curled up in a fetal position, bawling like a baby. “Why…” He whined. “I can’t take this—How do you—! He lost his lover so he wouldn’t lose his baby…and it died anyway! Why would someone write this? Why?”

Once he cried all of his feels away, he wiped his face with a corner of his comforter and sniffled pathetically before he grabbed his laptop again. The author was anonymous, of course, which was a pity but expected at the kinkmemes.

_you’re awful_

He typed:

_i’m sobbing like a baby and i can’t stop. i hate you. you’re bloody brilliant and i alskdfja;lsfkdjasdkjf hate you so hard. brb getting more tissues_

At any other time, he would have been appalled at himself, at his spelling, grammar and blatant incoherence overall. But this was an anonymous meme and for all the other anons knew, he was a twelve-year old girl trolling around.

Charles wasn’t kidding when he said he was getting tissues. He went to his bathroom, splashed his face, got a handful of tissues, paused, grabbed the whole roll and then went back to his laptop. He read the fic again and then cried some more. And then went on to read another fic that was equally as painful but ten times as long.

Raven found him at one in the morning in the same position she had left him, except that his tub of ice cream was empty, his eyes were red and there was a clump of tissues beside him. She sighed and told him to go to bed and stop fucking reading fanfiction.

He ignored her and stayed up until dawn to read, and then clawed at his bed sheets because the angst was killing him and the fanfic was cruelly still a work in progress.

This, ladies and gentlemen, was the regular Friday schedule of Charles Francis Xavier, fanboy extraordinaire. 

* * *

Erik Lehnsherr rubbed his eyes tiredly and booted his laptop up. Class always ended late on Fridays for him. It was a shame because he missed out on the TGIF drinking and was always too tired to catch up. Not to mention his professor had a stick up the ass and seemed to be out for his blood.

But it was nice to lie back in his seat, put his feet up and nurse a bottle of beer as he checked his mail. Spam, spam, Fanfiction.net alerts, Livejournal comment, Facebook shit, Multiply news, more spam. He should probably make a separate email for all his junk instead of sifting through the whole thing. Maybe later.

He clicked on the review alerts first. Some were thoughtful and he private messaged them his thanks. Most were in the vein of “OMG this is so good write moar plz!!1!” that he didn’t bother replying to anymore. Facebook told him he was tagged in a picture of his friend Az with his new girlfriend. She was cute, blonde, and definitely not his type. Erik just clicked the ‘like’ button.

Livejournal just gave him news and other uninteresting things. He let the goat eat it and deleted them. There were a few comments for his latest fanfiction. It made Erik smile and he wished LJ had a ‘like’ button so they knew he’d read their comment. It didn’t, so he let it be for now.

Erik went to his bookmarks and went through his kinkmeme fills one by one to see if they had any new comments. Out of the eight things he’d filled, there were only one or two new comments, which bothered him since what only took a few seconds to review took hours and hours to write. 

A new comment to one of his first fills made him grin too wide. It was one of those fills he was never entirely sure about. Sometimes he thought it was too dramatic, and other times he thought it wasn’t dramatic enough, or well-written enough, or detailed enough. It nagged at him during low points, or when he was hit with writer’s block, how crap like that could exist on the internet and he should probably erase his existence before he could produce more eyeball gutting literature.

He definitely did not feel like it was crap when he read the comment aloud. “You’re awful. I’m sobbing like a baby and I can’t stop. I hate you. You’re bloody brilliant and I hate you so hard. Be right back, getting tissues.”

He took a long moment considering his reply. Finally, he settled with, “Oh baby, hate me harder. I love it when you talk dirty to me ;)” He snorted into his beer and typed in Captcha’s required field. “Marriage squash?” He shook his head ruefully. What were the odds of ‘marriage’ coming up on a divorce fanfic? No, wait, it made more sense since the ‘marriage’ was ‘squashed’ because it  _was_  a divorce fanfic. He laughed a little too hard.

Erik rubbed his eyes. He was more tired than he thought.

He glanced at his homework. He glanced at the kinkmeme. Homework, kinkmeme, homework, kinkmeme.

Erik cracked his knuckles and got to typing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our boys meet cute in a coffee shop.

Charles spent Saturday evenings working as a barista in a little campus café where the hipsters liked to hang out. He liked the music that poured out of the speakers which was mostly Indie (whatever that meant) and the quiet murmur of his customers’ conversations. His coworkers were nice too, and Charles was familiar with his regulars.  
  
Tonight seemed like a slow night, made even slower by the jazz music filling the place. Charles idly wiped at a table by the window, thinking about the fanfiction he’d stayed up last night (this morning?) reading. It made his heart hurt in the sweetest of ways, which probably said a lot about his psyche.  
  
He went back to the counter to arrange the pastries out of a lack of nothing to do, but mostly because he would be tempted to whip his phone out and check if it had been updated, and that wouldn’t do. Charles Xavier did not dally during work. Much.  
  
The door chimed, signaling a new customer, and Charles stood up to greet them.

 _Bow chika wow wow_. Was his tongue wagging? Charles picked his jaw up from the floor and managed a loopy smile. The man in front of him was undeniably gorgeous; chiseled cheekbones and a cutting gaze contained in a body that was tall and lean like a panther. It helped that he was wearing a skin tight turtleneck under a leather jacket, oh my.  
  
“Hello, sir. How may I help you?” Charles asked, his cheeks taking on a rosy hue. The handsome stranger’s lips quirked.  
  
“Coffee, please, but I don’t know what’s good. Any recommendations?”  
  
Charles was going to die. Not only was the guy tall, dark and handsome, but he had a baritone that went straight down Charles’ spine and into his groin. He could only be thankful when his mouth went on autopilot as it usually did, counting off their specials and their best-sellers, one of which his new customer eventually settled on.  
  
“May I have your name please?”  
  
The stranger’s mouth quirked again, like he was thinking of an inside joke. “Erik. With a ‘k’.”  
  
“Nice to meet you, Erik with a ‘k’. I’m Charles.” Charles beamed, and what the hell, that was not the protocol. “Will you be taking this here or to go?”  
  
“Here, I suppose. Nowhere else to go.”  
  
“Ah.” Charles couldn’t help but let his eyes rove over the man’s broad shoulders. “Alright then, please take a seat and I’ll be with you shortly.”  
  
Erik,  _oh god_ , Charles thought,  _Erik with a ‘k’ and a German accent, my god it’s so sexy when he talks, oh god why is he wearing that turtleneck it’s criminal._ Ahem. Erik sat himself on a seat beside the window, the table which Charles had just finished wiping a few moments ago. It seemed like a tiny inane detail, but it made Charles giddy like a schoolgirl.

 

Charles watched him from the corner of his eye as he prepared the coffee. Erik had shed his leather jacket and was now retrieving a laptop from his bag. He was wearing thin-rimmed glasses. 

Glasses.

_Be still my heart,_  Charles quietly gasped.  _I do so love the look of intelligence on a man._

Erik looked hard at work when Charles finally slid the coffee on the table. The café had special mugs for customers who took their coffee or tea here, homemade ones that talked like candy hearts and bad pick-up lines. 

Because Charles was a flirt, he got Erik the “I Lost My Number, So Can I Have Yours?” mug. Erik paused in his typing to glance up at Charles.

“Thanks.”

“Is there anything else I can get you? A biscotti? Muffin? Danish?”

“That’s alright, Charles. But thank you for offering.”

Erik was polite, cool and enigmatic, and he said Charles’ name in the most shiver-inducing way, his eyes going half-lidded and heated. He was ridiculously dreamy.

Charles had to discreetly pinch himself. He knew he was a hopeless flirt half the time; it was a miracle Erik was flirting back, or giving him a glance at all.  
He nodded and drifted back to the counter, humming along to the new song floating in from the speakers.

Aw, screw it, Charles Xavier just found the hottest man on campus. He was allowed to be a little silly sometimes. Glancing to make sure his boss wasn’t around, he whipped his phone out and got on the kinkmeme.

* * *

 

**Magneto/X, coffee shop!AU**

I want coffee shop AU with X as the adorable barista and Magneto as his tall, dark and handsome customer. Run with it however you want it, author!anons.

Bonus:  
Magneto is an author that X adores but doesn’t know it’s him.  
X eventually finds out on his own because he could recognize Magneto’s writing style anywhere. How is up to you.  
Happy sexy tiems! 

 

* * *

 

  
Charles chuckled to himself and settled in for a night of darting glances at Erik and trying to look busy.


	3. Chapter 3

Erik was on his fourth draft for the last chapter of his current fanfic, and he was going nowhere. Granted, it was a cancer fic and bound to be immeasurably sad no matter which way he ended it, but he wanted it to end in a hopeful tone too. It was just too hard. X’s acceptance of death and Magneto’s refusal of it just stuck too close to home. Erik’s own mother had died of breast cancer and she had died peacefully, surrounded by her loved ones, but Erik took it hard.

He supposed his undertaking of this prompt was a bit of therapy for himself, a way to channel his rage and loneliness creatively. It was doing well so far. People were recommending it on Tumblr and LJ, and they were sobbing about it on the kinkmeme.

It was just so much pressure, though. Different people had different views on what a perfect ending would be like.

Maybe he should try again some other time. Obviously he was off his game with a pretty brunet boy with red lips and stunning blue eyes just ten feet away.

It was odd, though. He looked familiar.

With nothing else to do, Erik clicked for the latest prompts on the kinkmeme. There was a request for a gangbang (nope, don’t do noncon), an alpha/omega-verse with complex world building (not my division), a robot-turns-human-Pygmalion-type AU (sounds plausible), and finally, a coffee shop AU.

Huh.

Without knowing why, Erik glanced up at Charles, who caught his eye and smiled warmly. Erik couldn’t help it. He smiled back.

He was caught in a writing slump, but maybe he could take a few cues from real life. What was life, after all, if not one huge fanfic?

Charles was busy rearranging the chest set in the corner when Erik approached. He’d meant to help, but they’d reached out for the same chess piece, a white knight, and ended up awkwardly fumbling against each other.

“O-Oh!” Charles exclaimed, his eyelashes fluttering in surprise. Erik could have maybe kissed him then and there. He was ridiculously attractive, with his posh accent and his baby blue eyes and those red, red lips.

“Do you play?” Erik asked.

“Er, well, yes. Do you?”

Erik shook his head minutely. “I haven’t had anyone I could play with in a while.” His fingertips touched the back of Charles’ knuckles.

“Oh my. We’ll have to rectify that, won't we?” Charles smiled and ducked his head, embarrassed at the drivel that was coming out of his mouth. “Sorry, my Brit is coming out. Though I’m rather chuffed for you to offer.” 

Erik grinned. Charles rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand, certain his face had turned a bright hue. “Oh god, I’m sorry. I probably sound ridiculous to you.”

“No, it’s…cute.” Erik offered. “I’m chuffed to play chess with you. Is that right, did I say it right?”

“Yes, you did.” Charles laughed, and it was like a wellspring, warm and bubbly. “You don’t sound too American, my friend. Take a seat, Erik. I’m sure chess is easier sitting down.”

Erik smiled and took the proffered seat, found out he was playing white. “German. I moved here at twelve and the accent never left, though I’ve tried to get rid of it.”

“I like it. It’s charming.” Charles shot him a grin. “I was born here, but I got the accent from my mother. She sent me to boarding school as soon as she remarried, so it didn’t help any. It’s good to be back here in New York, though. Are you a student here, Erik?”

“Yes,” Erik said, taking a pawn. “On my third year at Electrical Engineering.”

“How fascinating.”

Erik snorted. “Not really. It’s actually very boring.”

“But useful, I’m sure.”

“Oh yes. Call me if you ever need to screw a lightbulb—it takes a degree to do that.”

There it was again: Charles’ laughter. Erik felt himself sinking comfortably into the squashy armchair.

* * *

Charles left the café at around midnight as Sean took the shift and wished him a good night. Once he got home, he shed his scarf, his coat and his shoes, fished the little slip of paper from his wallet and did a goofy victory dance.

“I have his number, I have his number! Go Charles, go, go, go! Go Charles!” He was halfway through dancing The Worm when Raven peeked out from her room and stared at him in horror.

“What are you doing?”

“Look, Raven, I have his number!” Charles flashed her his slip of paper with a manic grin.

“Who?”

“Erik! He’s Erik with a ‘k’ and he’s so dreamy and I have his number!”

“Are you drunk?”

“No.” Charles laughed and did his best Austin Powers impersonation. “I’m groovy, baby. I’ve got a date Friday!”

Raven raised an eyebrow. “Friday? As in this Friday?”

“Yes?”

“We’re having dinner with my boyfriend, Charles. Or did you forget already?”

Charles visibly deflated. “O-Oh. That’s too bad.”

Raven smirked. “Pfft. Just text him and tell him some other time. It’s not the end of the world.”

“Do I really have to go?” He wheedled.

“Yes, you do. He’s bringing a friend so we can have like a double date.”

“But I don’t wanna double-date. I wanna Erik-date.”

Raven just rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a baby. Good night, Charles.”

“Night.”

Since he was still hyped up, he decided to input Erik’s number on his phone and debated whether to call him. He was halfway through a text when he realized what time it was and how rude it would be to bother Erik. He might be doing important things. Like sleeping.

Charles’ thumb, of course, slipped, and he ended up sending the text.

He stared at his phone in horror.

_Sorry_ , he sent,  _I have plans this Friday and I’m not free any other time this week. But maybe on Saturday?_

Charles scrambled over his phone.  _This is Charles, btw :)_  How did you tell someone you thought they were ridiculously attractive and interesting and that you felt honored that they gave you their number in a non-creepy way?

Charles went to the kitchen and made himself tea, alternating between staring at a suspicious spot on the wall and staring at his phone.

The text message from Erik went like this:  _I’m busy this week too.. Saturday next week? Same time same place?_

Charles despaired. That was six days too far away.  _Sure, why not? I'm free at 6 :D_

_It’s a date, then. I’ll see you there ;)_

Suddenly his shirt felt too warm to wear. Charles took a deep inhale and held his hand over his hammering heart. Thought about Erik and his body-hugging turtleneck, and the way he lounged at his chair, his eyeglasses perched on his nose. The way he would look at Charles when he thought no one was looking, and how he smiled when Charles caught his eye.

Charles gripped his mug of tea and sat there resolutely, consumed with lust for the rest of the evening.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik finds himself a little distracted.

The week crawled by when Erik wanted it to run and slipped away from him when he wasn’t looking, interspersed with back-and-forth texts from Charles.

Monday morning had begun with his phone beeping. Erik had groaned and blindly groped around for his phone, peeking at it with one eye.

_Good morning, Erik :)_

Erik smiled despite his hatred of this time of day and texted Charles back.  _Morning, Charles. I could do with a cup of coffee. Or a bucketful._

_It’s too bad I’m not with you :C I make great coffee. And a mean breakfast. In bed ;)_

Erik felt his cock perk to attention. And then he cursed himself. “Lehnsherr, you stupid fuck. Should have brought him home when you had the chance.”

The flirting continued on for the rest of the week, solidifying Erik’s resolve to end their Saturday date at his place, in bed, between Charles’ legs. The brunet was a veritable tease, a constant distraction during the day. Erik had gotten a text, once, in the middle of class. His phone had beeped discreetly on the table, and Emma had swiped it before he could.

“Sexting, sugar? I thought you had more class than that.”

“Mind your own business, Em.”

She laughed and handed him his phone, leering when he blushed as he read it.  _That’s amazing! I bet you won because nobody could take their eyes off you in your Speedo. I know I wouldn’t. All that skin and that tiny thing they call a swimsuit. Mmmm._

The text had been a response to Erik saying that he’d been captain of his high school’s swim team. Trust Charles to turn a harmless statement into something that made Erik’s ears heat.

Gott, he needed a cold shower.

Thursday evening, also known as “Two-More-Days-Until-I-Can-Fuck-Charles-Into-Oblivion”-day, came and Erik was halfway through an essay when Azazel called.

“What.”

“I have favor to ask,” his friend said.

“What.”

“I have double date with my new girlfriend tomorrow, but Janos bailed on me. Could you go instead?”

Erik winced to himself. Draft number five of that cancer fic down the drain. “I dunno, Az. I’m gonna be busy.”

Azazel snorted over the line. “What? Writing porn?”

“It’s not just porn if it’s used to enrich the plot.” Erik replied rather heatedly.

Azazel laughed. It was an old argument. “Whatever. Will you go?”

“You know I have classes until seven, right?”

“Is fine. Movie is at eight-thirty, anyway. She’s bringing her roommate. He’s cute. Her words, not mine.”

“I kind of…I’m kind of seeing someone?”

“How do you ‘kind of’ see someone?” Erik swore he could hear Azazel raise an eyebrow.

“…You know.”

“No, I don’t know.”

He ran an exasperated hand down his face. “You know what? Fine, whatever. I’ll go. You owe me.”

“Yes, yes. I die at your feet. Bye.”

Erik hung up and opened a new MS Word document.

* * *

  _“I could live without you,” Magneto said, and before all of their friends and family, he knelt down and presented X with a ring of his own design, a tribute of his love and devotion. “But I never want to. X, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”_

_X gripped his arm and hoisted him up, allowing Magneto to slide the ring on his finger. The metal was warm, vibrating slightly with Magneto’s anticipation. “This is quite funny, actually,” X said, and there was no mistaking the twinkle in his eye or the tightening of his voice. He withdrew a small box from his pocket and placed it in Magneto’s equally trembling hands. “I wanted to, tonight, but, well…you got there first.”_

_Magneto cradled X’s face and captured him in a slow, breathtaking kiss. It was a kiss full of love and tender promises and_

_and babies ever after trololololol_

* * *

 Erik banged his head against the back of the couch repeatedly. “My balls have shrunk and I grew a vagina instead. What the fuck am I writing?”

He sighed as he read it again. It was schmoop, disgusting schmoop, but the fandom would eat it up since it was well-written schmoop. Or, he hoped so, anyway. Nevertheless, he finished it with fond sentiment. 

* * *

_Later on in their marriage bed, Charles would trace the crisscross of old scars on his husband’s chest and kiss the hurtful memories of each one away. “You’re mine now,” He whispered, the cornflower blue of his eyes earnest and soft. “You’re beautiful. Every inch of this,” he caressed the branded skin, “Is mine,” a kiss on the row of numbers, “cherished,” another to his husband’s brow, then to his lips, “loved.”_

_“I will protect you,” I swore, my thumb swiping the cupid bow of his lips. He smiled and kissed the tips of my fingers._

_“We will protect each other.” This we pledged to the last of our days._

* * *

Erik rubbed his eyes and stared at his computer screen. He had a habit of drifting off while writing, letting the words flow right out of his head into his fingertips, but sometimes the words got out of hand and wrote themselves. It was like how an athlete went ‘in the zone’ and let his limbs and his instincts direct his movement. Erik hadn’t been ‘in the zone’ for a long while.

Obviously his subconscious was distracted. Erik had written X as Charles and Magneto as himself. And halfway into the scene, the point-of-view switched from third- to first-person perspective. It should have bothered him that he was basically projecting his fantasies into his writing. It did niggle at him, this little sliver of guilt. Well, at least he was able to finish the draft. Now he just needed to edit two thousand words and post it.

He squinted at his laptop screen and despaired.

…Or he could call Charles. The number was just sitting on his phone. It wouldn’t hurt, would it?

_“H-Hello?”_

“Hello, Charles.”

_“Er—hi!”_  There was a crash and fumbling sounds and Charles cursing in the background.  _“Dear lord, are you alright? Did I break anything?!”_

Erik blinked and lay back on his couch. “No? I’m fine?”

_“Oh, how embarrassing.”_  Charles muttered.  _“It’s nothing. I dropped my phone.”_

“Why would you—”

“Nothing!”

“Then why—” Erik began to ask, then laughed once he fitted two and two together.

_“It’s not funny!”_ Charles sounded scandalized when Erik laughed a little too hard and a little too long.

“No, I think it’s cute. You thought I was your phone.”

_“No, I thought you were_  in _my phone. There’s a difference.”_

“Of course there is.” Erik muttered dryly.

_“Yes, well. Any particular reason you called?”_  Charles’ voice had turned shy and a little hopeful. Erik ducked his head, suddenly feeling bashful as well.

 “Not really. Just thought to....give you a call.”  
  
 _“Oh! Well, that’s sweet of you. Are we still on for Saturday?”_  
  
“Of course.”  
  
 _“I don’t have any particular preference for where we’re going. Although dinner and a movie would have been nice for a first date.”_  
  
“We’ll have plenty of opportunities,” Erik felt the heat rise up his neck to his ears. Didn’t he sound presumptuous? “That is, if you want to.”  
  
Charles’ voice dropped into a quieter timbre, more intimate.  _“I’d very much like that, Erik.”_  
  
They talked for two hours and for someone who couldn’t be arsed to talk to someone for ten minutes in a personal setting, Erik found he rather liked it. Charles had a habit of going off into tangents, but the enthusiasm in his tone and his frank adorableness more than made up for it. If there was one person he could talk to for hours, it would be Charles. He was a great conversationalist and the right mix of complex: willfully seductive one minute and oddly shy the next. Pity they were reduced to texts and calls while schoolwork kept them both busy. Charles had a scholarship to maintain, and Erik wasn’t used to seeing other people at all.  
  
 _“So I guess I’ll say good night. It was nice talking to you, Erik.”_  
  
“You too, Charles. Take care.”  
  
 _“Mm. You hang up first.”_  
  
Charles’ little hum had sent a shudder down Erik’s spine. “No, go ahead.”  
  
 _“No, I insist!”_ Charles laughed.  _“Are we really having this conversation?”_  
  
Erik grinned. “Guess we are. Okay. On the count of three. One.”  
  
 _“Two.”_  
  
“Three.”  
  
Erik hung up and stretched out on the couch, a dorky smile on his face.


	5. Chapter 5

In between classes Friday morning, Charles read the latest chapter of the fill he’d prompted as “Wedding!fic where Magneto and X meet in an imperfect world but try to make the best of it anyway. Make me wibble like a girl, anon.” It was slow going even though it wasn’t a particularly long chapter, because reading this was something that Charles liked to savor and pace himself with.

 

At one point, though, he had to stop and cover his eyes so no one could tell that he was tearing up. It was painfully easy to make him tear up. Well-written schmoop was his weakness.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Charles glanced at his classmate and cleared his throat. “Yes, I’m fine, Hank.” He wiped his nose discreetly. “Allergies.”

His classmate looked skeptical. “…Right. Oh look, prof’s coming in.”

If Charles weren’t a genius, he’d have floundered and failed in his classes for being a total ditz. As it was, his brain retained information like a sponge and he only stumbled a little when the professor asked him a question.

* * *

  **OP Here**

Writer!Anon, you delivered so well. I never expected for you to make such a well-plotted story. Your writing is enchanting and you made me fall in love with your characters. Thank you! There’s nothing else I can say but—bravo! You’ve delivered on your promise. I truly did wibble like a girl. I still am.

* * *

And because Charles was so happy, he left another comment too. 

* * *

**Re: Sound the Bells Part 12/12**

omg a;skdfjsalkgdjskdjg this was one of the best things i’ve ever read in my entire life omg you liferuiner i hate you how do you write like this bloody brilliantly I AM IN AWE 

* * *

 He smiled and went home to change his clothes to meet up with Raven and her boyfriend. 

* * *

 

Erik snorted to himself as he read the comments on the last part of the fic that he posted last night. To the original prompter (or was it original poster? It made sense either way, so he didn’t think much about it) he gave his heartfelt thanks. To the idiot who posted after him, he typed in: 

* * *

**Author!anon**

LOL anon, do I know you? I think I know you. It’s okay, I still love it when you talk dirty to me ;) 


	6. Chapter 6

Azazel was a nice Russian man with a nice Russian accent and nice Russian biceps. Charles’ best friend certainly had taste. He would have to give Raven a slow applause once they were alone together. Which was highly unlikely given the way the two were currently eye-fucking each other across the table. Charles tried not to sigh too loudly or roll his eyes too visibly. He picked at his food and tried to ignore how she was playing footsie under the table.

“Ow, Charles!” Raven hissed.

“What?” He looked at her innocently. “Sorry, my dear. You know me, I have spontaneous seizures.”

In return, she pressed the heel of her stiletto against his toes and pretended that she was having a seizure too.

“Azazel, what time’s your friend coming?” Charles grit his teeth against Raven’s attack.

“Raven,” Charles hissed. “Get your dagger out of my foot.”

“Only if you get that stick out of your ass.”

The Russian grinned, amused at their antics. “He should be here now. I told him to come here straight after class.”

“Class still at this time?” Charles glanced at his watch. “What does he study?”

“Engineering. It is, ah, the electrical kind.”

“Oh! I wonder if he knows—”

A different voice cut in. “Charles?”

* * *

Erik felt vaguely harassed. His professor expected them to read forty pages by the week’s end and be prepared for an oral examination by the time Monday rolled around. It was not logical nor  plausible, but the man held the ticket to graduation so Erik simply had to grin and bear it.

Azazel had texted him  ten minutes ago, telling him that he was late. Erik had half a mind to just bail out of the whole thing. It wouldn’t do to have a painfully awkward dinner to make his night even worse. Then again, a free dinner was promised, and what was the way to a man’s heart if not his stomach? Erik’s midsection grumbled and told him it could do with a meal, and off he went.

Thank god he decided to go. 

Of all the people he imagined, Erik had not expected to find Charles sitting beside Azazel’s girlfriend. It was him all right! No doubt about it. No one else could have the same stunning blue eyes and kissable mouth, which had fallen open at the sight of him.

Charles looked delicious, his eyes wide and disbelieving. “Wha—Erik! What are you doing here?”

“You two know each other?” Azazel asked as Erik took his seat.

“We met where I worked. Work. I made him coffee. That is, er.” Charles finally regained enough of his composure to have the grace to look embarrassed at himself. “I work at Wolverine’s Coffee Bean.”

“Wait, this is your ‘Erik with a k’?” Raven grinned, and turned to Erik. “Are you an ‘Erik with a k’?”

“Yes…?” Erik raised a questioning eyebrow.

Raven practically squealed in her excitement. “Small world! I didn’t know you were dating Charles. Nice to meet you, Erik.”

“Likewise.” He reached out and shook her hand, pleased at her grip. Some girls had limp hands. Raven’s grip was strong, which gave an inkling on the kind of person who would date Azazel.

Charles gave a strangled kind of sound, looking torn, mumbling something which sounded like, “Er, we’re not really…” but the minute Erik turned his gaze on him, Charles’ brain short-circuited and he could only smile dopily instead.

“Well, this is cool,” Raven enthused. “It’s an actual double-date! No more awkward set-ups!”

“What?” Charles whipped his head at her.

“Set-up?” Erik asked Azazel.

Azazel grinned and wrapped an arm around Raven’s shoulders. She leaned into the touch, and—wow, Erik hadn’t seen Az get this mushy with any of his previous girlfriends ever.

“She’s my girl; I cannot say no. Also, you have been writing porn too much. Is not healthy.”

“It’s not porn if it’s—”

“Da, da. I know.”

Meanwhile, Charles had resumed having spontaneous seizures that weren’t really spontaneous. Raven took it in stride, deigning to quiz Erik and tease Charles for the rest of the hour.

Dinner wasn’t that bad, all-in-all. 

* * *

The movie was even better.

The theater hall was dark and intimate, and even if the movie was supposed to be pretty good, Erik could only pay half of his attention on it. The rest was carefully attuned to Charles and the way he bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows as he watched the show.

Erik could practically feel the static in the air, prickling his skin. Every bit of him yearned to climb into Charles’ seat and straddle him. Better yet, he could yank Charles onto his lap and suck the soft-looking skin at the base of his throat. His Mama raised him right, though, so Erik withheld himself to simply leaning towards Charles’ seat like a magnet. Charles smiled shyly and shifted until their shoulders were touching. 

* * *

Charles could do this. Charles could be an exemplary member of society and not jump Erik’s bones and get sent to jail for public indecency. He could survive an hour barely touching Erik. In the dark. And if Charles could, so could he. He could endure it for the rest of the movie, it was only slightly more than two hours. So close and yet so far.

He lasted around half an hour.

The next time a spurt of blood filled the screen, Charles’ hand reflexively went to the armrest, where Erik’s hand seemed to be waiting.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right.” Erik smiled, more of a quirk of lips than anything, and turned his hand palm up so that his fingers could entwine with Charles’. Charles could have swooned with happiness. It happened just like in a fanfic.

They didn’t move for a long while, not until the obligatory sex scene came up. Erik rubbed circles with his thumb and brought their entwined hands up for a gentle kiss. Charles watched, enraptured as Erik’s lips pressed against the back of his hand; a slow seduction.

 _Take me_ , Charles wanted to beg. _My god, I’m going to die and you haven’t even kissed me yet. Please touch me before I spontaneously combust._

Erik grinned and let their hands go. “That’s for teasing me all week with your texts.”

Charles swallowed dryly. “I hate you.” He pushed the armrest up so that he could burrow warmly against Erik’s shoulder.

“Yeah, baby. Hate me harder.” Erik’s laugh was a gust of air against Charles’ hair. Charles huffed and wrapped an arm around Erik’s waist, smelling leather and spicy cologne. Erik slung an arm around his shoulders and they settled in again. Who would have known that they’d just been perfect strangers in a little hipster café less than a week ago? Charles certainly couldn’t tell.

* * *

“She’s going to die next,” Erik leaned in and whispered, just because he could, and if he brushed his lips against Charles’ earlobe while doing so, well, it was dark in there. Charles gasped and turned his head as Erik withdrew, and they froze, their faces inches apart. Erik’s eyes were half-lidded in lust, his mouth slack as he stared at Charles’ lips. Charles licked them subconsciously and closed his eyes, chin tilting up.

Erik hadn’t even realized he was leaning into a kiss until the first touch; wet, warm and dragging with slow heat. The next went deeper as he cupped Charles’ cheek into his hand. One of them might have moaned quietly. They broke apart as a scream pierced the air and they both glanced back at the screen only to find out that the dumb blond Erik picked was brutally murdered.

“Told you.” Erik muttered breathlessly. Charles grabbed the lapel of his jacket and kissed him again. 

* * *

“Don’t think I didn’t see you guys making out the whole movie.” Raven teased once they got out of the movie house.

“We did not!” Charles defended, affronted. “Maybe half.” Erik’s hand squeezed his hip, bringing him closer.

“Maybe half,” Erik echoed, and kissed Charles’ temple.

“Aw, you guys are so adorable! Az, look at them! I told you it would work out!” Raven tugged on her boyfriend’s arm, grinning slightly maniacally.

“Hm. Adorable.” Azazel gave Erik a look that translated somewhere around ‘what the fuck’, ‘I can’t believe that worked’ and ‘I’m going to barf rainbows now’. “We go home now, da?”

“Da.” Raven pecked him on the cheek and squeezed his hand. “Charles, I’m not coming home tonight and neither should you. Geez, go get laid already!”

“Raven!” Charles flushed red. “You are not my sister and I disown you!”

She laughed and pulled Azazel away, throwing him a saucy wink over her shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we earn an explicit rating. Aw yiss.

“So...” Charles trailed off as Erik held his hand in a very warm grip. They were walking across the parking lot after saying goodbye to their friends. Raven would be staying with Az tonight, and as much as Charles wanted to have Erik on his bed, he had a feeling the thin walls of his apartment would be inconvenient at best. “Where do you live?”

“Not far.” Erik led him towards a sleek black motorbike, the sight of which made Charles’ heartbeat speed up incrementally. Erik unfastened the helmet from its lock and fitted it on Charles’ head.

“Ah—er, don’t you need this?”

“I’ll be fine. I won’t drive very fast.”

“You could get in trouble.”

“No, I won’t,” Erik grinned. There was a certain element of danger whenever he smiled like that. “I’m feeling lucky tonight.”

Charles was thankful that his face was partially covered. He could feel the blood burn as it rushed through his face in a heavy blush. Erik withdrew a pair of gloves from his bag and tugged them on, smirking when Charles’ eyes followed the motion. Then he swung his leg over the bike and Charles had to bite his lip when the material of Erik’s jeans stretched taut over his firm ass.

“Well? Come on.” The engine purred, as if to assure him it was perfectly safe.

Charles laughed a little at himself. “Are you going to take me all the way on your slick ride?”

Erik’s gaze turned smoldering as he revved the engine. “All the way, baby.”

* * *

They barely made it through the door. Charles opened his mouth to take in a large gulp of air just as Erik attached his lips to the corner of his jaw, scraping his teeth at the hot skin there. Charles pulled at Erik’s jacket, trying to simultaneously pull him closer and get him undressed. He was impeded by Erik grasping the globes of his ass and pressing their hips together.

Charles let out a strangled sound, one hand clutching at Erik’s shoulder and the other pulling him down by the hair to direct the kiss. Their belts clinked together, utter nuisances, and with a curse Charles pulled away to get rid of Erik’s. Erik had already untucked Charles’ shirt from his trousers and was trying to fit his hand down the back of his pants.

“Ah!” Charles gasped when Erik scraped a nail on the skin of his ass, right above the crack. He shuddered, swaying on his feet. Erik pushed him back until he was sitting at the couch, and Charles eagerly peeled back Erik’s sinful jeans from his body and taking him in hand.

The first pump of his fist on Erik’s cock was a revelation. Charles didn’t particularly have a preference for cut or uncut cocks, but Erik’s was particularly lovely, flushed a deep shade of red and standing at attention. He gave a little lick at the top, watching Erik demurely from underneath his eyelashes. The sight undid the other man like Charles knew it would, and when Erik cradled his jaw with his hands, Charles let him push his cock in past the seam of his lips.

Ceding control was easy when Erik kept the pace slow and never pushed too hard. He was teasing himself with it, just watching himself stretch the ‘o’ of Charles’ lips and listening to the wet pop of release when he withdrew, Charles’ mouth slick with spit and precome.

Charles was aching in his trousers, but his need seemed far away. The world took on a surreal tilt of slow pleasure, narrowing down to the hands on his head and the weight on his tongue.

When Erik withdrew again, this time he bent down to lick the taste of himself out of Charles’ mouth, bearing him down on the couch. He slid Charles’ trousers off him and swallowed him down in one slick move. By the time Charles’ thighs were twitching with an oncoming orgasm, Erik had already pressed his thumb against the skin behind his balls, pressing insistently at his prostate. Charles came just like this, mind bright with ecstasy, hand tangled in Erik’s hair. He watched Erik groan as he stroked himself off to completion, gathering the come in his hand.

“Ah, fuck.” Erik panted heavily as he sat back on his haunches. Charles licked his lips at the sight of Erik’s muscular torso heaving. They spent a long moment gathering coherence before Charles managed to speak.

“I wouldn’t mind a repeat performance.”

Erik peeled his pants off and stretched languidly, looking every bit as lean and perfect as the first time Charles saw him. “I’ve got a ticket of one for a later show.”

“Really? How much?” Charles shucked his shirt off and dropped it carelessly on the floor, straddling Erik’s lap and resting his weight upon the solid strength of Erik’s thighs.

“One kiss.”

Charles leaned down and pressed an open mouth right above Erik’s nipple. “There, can I have it now?” Erik grinned widely and pulled him in for a long, indecent kiss until Charles had to turn his head to breathe.

“The show will begin in about ten minutes.” Erik whispered lowly in his ear, “In the meantime, please take advantage of the best seat in the house.”

“Oh, I definitely will,” Charles said as he took Erik’s come-stained hand and sucked the middle finger into his mouth.

* * *

Erik’s idea of a perfect morning started with waking up a little later than usual (and by a little later, he meant not until after eleven in the morning) after a satisfying night of churning out his feelings on dubious medium made by rabid fans for other rabid fans.

Last night he hadn’t accomplished any of his writing, but he was feeling no less satisfied, waking up to Charles circling one of his nipples with a finger.

“Hey,” he greeted, voice rough with sleep. Charles was nestled perfectly into the crook of his arm, looking pale and freckled and absolutely gorgeous.

“Hi.” Charles murmured, his stubble scraping the skin of Erik’s shoulder. Like this, his eyes were a bright electric blue, and the vividness of the color made Erik’s mind sing. Fanfiction blue, he thought faintly, awestruck.

“What time is it?”

“Dunno.”

Erik lifted his head and squinted at the alarm clock. Eight-twenty in the morning: far too early to be up on a weekend. Normally Erik would wank and go right back to sleep, but there was a gorgeous boy in his arms today who was...rising to the occasion, so to speak.

He turned on his side to face Charles, who looked almost bashful and wouldn’t meet his eyes. Last night was better than he’d ever expected it to go, and he had been expecting a lot of great things.

There had been awkward times when they fumbled around themselves, nerves making their hands shake and their breaths stutter. Charles had almost given him a black eye with his knee when they were drunk enough on each other to try for the 69. In the end they came together again the same way they had at the couch, cocks sliding against each other, Erik’s arms bracketing Charles’, Charles clutching on for dear life as they spiraled towards mutual pleasure.

He caressed Charles’ shoulder, tickling the fine hairs there, and he knew his thoughts must have shown on his face, because Charles reddened and buried half his face into his pillow.

Charles didn’t complain, however, when Erik reached down under the sheets to tease at the hot flesh of his cock. “Yeah?”

“Oh, yes...”

It wasn’t long before Charles was thrusting rhythmically in his hand, teething at the base of his throat. He reached for Erik as well, and dreamily, Erik decided he wanted to spend every morning like this every day.

 

After a relatively peaceful shower (together, of course, and Erik stored the image of water sluicing down Charles’ skin in his mind for lonely nights) Charles was bundled up in one of Erik’s shirts, working magic on the coffee machine.

Erik was frying pancakes at the stove, trying and failing to keep his eyes off of the delicious curve of Charles’ neck.

Charles caught his glance and winked over the rim of his coffee mug.

* * *

**Re: A!A**

HOLY SHITE. are you that one anon who wrote that one divorce-miscarriage fic? because that fic changed my whole piont of view of the movie and i cried forever. if so, you must link me to your other stuff.

i am prepared to offer my hand in marriage or my firstborn. whichever appeals to you more.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charles and Erik being major dorks together, but what else is new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Moncube for the speedy beta! Love you lots, Fassdong Friend.

“Erik, I really do have to go,” Charles hedged, tilting his head to the side to glance at the doorway, only to give Erik an opportunity to latch his lips onto the skin of his neck.

“Five minutes,” Erik murmured,  softly nibbling on creamy skin.

“You said that five minutes ago!”

“Mmm. Smell good.” Erik continued on, even as Charles playfully batted at his shoulders. He was acting like an alpha, Charles mused humorously, all his thoughts turning filthy when he realized what that implied. It didn’t help that Erik’s warm hand was pressed at the small of his back, bringing their torsos together.

“You’re insatiable.”

Erik growled playfully, which Charles laughed at, cupping the sides of his face and licking at the corner of his upturned mouth. Erik’s tongue darted out to meet him, and Charles surged up, controlling the kiss with his hands twined in Erik’s hair, leaving his boyfriend mussed and dazed when he pulled away.

Boyfriend... _fuck_ , Charles could get used to that.

“I’ll see you soon, darling.” Charles murmured, slightly muffled by the kiss on Erik’s open mouth, before slipping out the door with a quiet click.

* * *

Erik tilted his head back and attempted to gather his scattered composure. Charles was...Charles was...incredible. Delectable. Exquisite. Erik could go on and on, but words seemed so inadequate, as cheesy as it was to say.

He could wax poetic about the lines and the symmetry of his body, the curl of hair above his cock, the two adorable freckles on the bridge of his nose. Charles was cute, funny and sexy, which made Erik want to feed him, bundle him up in a blanket burrito and fuck him until he was incoherent. Not necessarily in that order, of course.

Despite it already being one in the afternoon, Erik hadn’t wanted to let go. They’d had two rounds of sex this morning, one right after waking and then one after breakfast, laughing as Charles squeezed an impressive dollop of maple syrup on Erik’s erection, which he licked away with a saucy wink.

There was just something about him that shone brighter than all the other people Erik had met. He couldn’t explain it properly, not even to himself. It just was.

That unexplainable something was what compelled Erik to heft Charles up on the back of the couch and suck on the soft skin of his neck, even as the younger man complained about being late for work.

“I’d traded my shift tonight for this afternoon,” Charles had explained, “And I had to wheedle long and hard for this, Mr. Lehnsherr, so don’t you dare make me late.”

Erik had closed his teeth around the tip of the finger Charles was wagging in his face. “Five minutes.”

Charles conceded readily enough when Erik hollowed his cheeks around the digit. “Well, if you say…”

Five minutes had turned to ten, which then turned to fifteen, and by the time it was half-past noon, Charles had managed to distract Erik with a kiss so toe-curling he hadn’t realized Charles was gone until the door closing quietly behind him.

Now Erik could only feel undone, confused by his good fortune but not cynical enough to question it. He felt like a piece of ribbon unravelling thread by thread, and it was the best feeling in the world. 

* * *

“Come on, Chuck, snap out of it.”

Charles blinked from where he’d been staring at a spot on the counter before swiping at it one last time. “Sorry, Mr. Logan.”

“What’s up with you today? And get this to table three.” The cafe owner instructed, nodding towards the corner table. Charles did as he was told, setting the mug that read 'If I followed you home, would you keep me?' down on the table. He spared a smile for the regular before hopping back to the counter.

God, Charles was bored. He tracked the hands on the clock in between serving customers, tapping his foot to the beat of a particularly hipster-flavoured song. He wasn’t sure where Mr. Logan got his music, but it was, well. Interesting, to say the least.

Dreamily, he thought of Erik. What kind of music did he like? He looked like a metal kind of guy, but then again, maybe not. Maybe he was the bossa nova type. Charles wouldn’t break up with him over it, but it would take a lot of convincing…with Erik’s mouth...and Erik’s hands...and Erik’s cock mmmm…

Charles could just get on hands and knees and service Erik all day if he could. Be his kinky little love slave, aw yeah.

If anything, at least he’d consistently be employee of the month. 

* * *

By the time the clock struck seven, Erik was already waiting behind the building on his bike. Charles practically skipped towards him, pocketing his phone, before pulling him in by the lapels of that sexy leather jacket for a deep kiss. He smelled like aftershave.

“I could climb you like a tree,” Charles declared.

Erik huffed a laugh at that, handing him a helmet. “Where do you even learn to say things like that?”

“The Internet is a cornucopia of popculture and subcultures. I’m educated that way,” Charles sniffed, before glancing down at the headgear. “It’s pink.”

“Magenta,” Erik corrected.

“It’s,” Charles shook it pointedly, “pink.” Erik took it from him and settled it on his head, taking care to brush his bangs out of his eyes.

“Looks sexy on you.”

“Really. Well, I suppose real men do wear pink,” Charles acquiesced, straddling the bike as Erik put his own helmet on. He bit his lip in excitement as they zipped away from the cafe, finally able to take hold of Erik’s impossible waist after six hours of separation.

Despite having been on other dates before, this one felt different, in a very good way. As they seated themselves and waited for their food Charles couldn’t help but be nervous, but it was a buzzing, positive energy that made him feel slightly high. Erik just had that kind of effect on him, he supposed, which was why he couldn’t really be entirely blamed when he blurted out, “I really like you, Erik.”

Erik tilted his head at him and smiled, reaching across the table to take Charles’ hand in his. “I really like you too.”

Charles very nearly swooned with all the blood suddenly rushing up his face.

Dinner arrived soon after that, cozy Italian fare, but Charles couldn’t bring himself to let go just yet. Erik was rubbing his fingers through the in-betweens of Charles’ hand, and the touch soothed him just as much as it inflamed him. When he did release Erik’s grip to get to his food, he compromised by trapping one of Erik’s feet between his.

Erik seemed to ignore it, before Charles felt an ankle hooking around his, stroking the back of his calf. He couldn’t help chuckling into his pasta, causing a break in Erik’s stoic mask. “What?”

“Nothing,” Charles shook his head, his hair flopping over his forehead. He swept it away, though he didn’t miss the way Erik eyed him, serious and intent.

“Wanna get something to drink after?” Erik asked, once they’d settled the check. It had been a lovely dinner overall. The restaurant was quiet and classy, and the food wasn’t terribly overpriced. Charles especially liked the fairy lights strung high on the walls. The company, of course, was excellent.

“Are you buying?” Charles rested his cheek on his hand, trying to look coy.

Erik smirked. “If I did, would the alcohol catalyze your reaction?”

Charles grin spread so wide he felt it might even split his face. “Did you just.” He waved a hand aimlessly. “Science jokes! How are you so perfect?”

Erik offered him a hand up from the table, his smile all teeth. “Shall I use my lever to shift your center of gravity?”

“Oh my god,” Charles laughed. “Keep this up and you’ll be DNA helicase, unzipping my genes tonight.”

* * *

They found a students’ pub on the next block, ordering drinks for themselves and cuddling in their booth. Charles could drink like a champ, Erik soon found out, and he had to take a restroom break to splash his face with cold water after their increasingly drunken shenanigans. The alcohol had done its job warming him from the inside, but the sight of Charles leaning against the seat, tipping his glass back and exposing the love bite on his Adam’s apple turned the warmth into a steady burn.

Erik slid in beside him, glad that they’d managed to get a spot that was somewhat secluded. “Hi.”

Charles licked his lips and angled for a kiss, and Erik was surprised by sweetness of it. “You’re hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power,” Charles said, starting to slur.

Erik grinned. If Charles was thinking he could win this game, he was sorely mistaken. Erik was the secret king of Physics puns. “I’m attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun: with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared.”

“Oh, fuck. That was good. I didn’t understand what the fuck you were saying, but that was really good. Mmm, wait.” Charles put a finger to his temple, looking exaggeratedly contemplative. “We fit together like the sticky ends of recombinant DNA.”

“Like the ideal vacuum, you’re the only thing in my universe.”

“You’re so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract.”

Erik brushed his thumb against the curve of Charles’ smile, knowing that he was grinning like a crazy person himself. “I’m hung like a Foucault pendulum.” Charles raised a haughty and knowing eyebrow.

“Everyone knows it’s not the size of the vector that matters, but the way the force is delivered.”

“Baby, in my bed, it’s perpetual motion all,” Erik kissed his ear, “night,” his jaw, “long,” his chin.

Charles’ mouth grew slack as he drew Erik closer, eyes heavy-lidded with lust. “Then why aren’t we there yet?”

Erik grinned as they left the bar. He may have been minoring in Physics, but he was definitely no Bohr in bed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet Charles and Erik's Internet personas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much to Kageillusionz for beta work!
> 
> As TreasuredLeisure pointed out very helpfully:  
> you're like the one person casey who can get away with 'trololololol' and 'askdhfkdfg;;dgj' in their fic. i swear
> 
> Quick someone give me an award.

Homosuperior posted:

**I’m not dead, I swear.**

SOME PEOPLE should really stop leaving stupid things in my askbox jfc (squinting at you, Braincoinxoxo)

I’d shake my fist at rl for taking me away from fandom, but as it is, I’m just too fucking happy with my recent luck and can’t get into an angsty frame of mind for [Flowers for Her](http://tinyurl.com/knk6xc). So updates might not be forthcoming, but they will come. Promise.

Speaking of coming, you guys like porn right? [Have at it](http://tinyurl.com/knk6xc). I’ve got an endless amount of inspiration at the moment. Consider this my apology for fucking off to god knows where for more than a month. Hope you enjoy and sorry for the wait.

* * *

Charles clicked on the link, but not before sweeping his gaze around himself. The cafe was filled with students on their gadgets, all trapped in their own little bubbles. Charles fit right in as he cupped his phone with both hands on the off-chance someone could read over his shoulder.

Homosuperior was doubtlessly one of his favorite authors ever. He’d first read her work over at the kinkmeme, and something about her writing was so poignant and lyrical that he’d been hooked at the very start. The best thing about her as an author was that she was a powerhouse for fic, and her repertoire was varied and impressive, although most of them veered towards the angsty side. In the mood for plotty fic? Homosuperior had many. Needed a good cry? Go read Homosuperior. One of his favorite works of hers had to be the one where X and Magneto had to pretend to be in love so that their kingdoms could finally reconcile.

The wonders of the Internet were that information flitted about so quickly he was always up to date with what was happening in their little corner of fandom. With the beginning of the school year, the flow of fic had slowed down, but Charles had always been reassured by Homosuperior’s consistent updates. When he’d started dating Erik, he honestly hadn’t noticed that she had missed an update. One Tuesday turned to two, turned to three, and Charles was antsy enough that he’d asked about the next chapter in a comment. There wasn’t any reply, but Charles was reasonably mollified with the olive branch of porn.

He took a sip of his tea and began to read about X’s first heat with his true alpha. Reading smut in public with a straight face was a skill he’d acquired after years of practice.

* * *

_“Max, Max, oh!” Francis gasped, arching his back, insides clenching as a rush of slick swept down his thighs. The alpha swiped his fingers through it, gathering the wetness on his hand to put it inside Francis’ mouth. The heat was rising again, alpha rut quickly following in its heels. His mouth tasted of their previous mating, and though the small of his back was sore from curving against the bookshelves when Max had fucked into him, he could honestly care less about what this position would do to him in the morning. The emptiness felt strange after being knotted and stretched, and he was sure if he reached down to touch himself, he’d be able to feel how wet he was, strewn with seed and aching for more._

_Max’s prick thrust against the trembling heat of his flesh, catching at the rim of his hole. There was a moment of breathless anticipation when his alpha simply pressed there, teasing, letting Francis remember what it had been like to be so full, to feel claimed and wanted and—needed—like he’d never been needed before. He didn’t feel used, like when other alphas assisted him in heat. He felt cherished instead, more like a mate and a lover and less like a slave to his biology as Max slipped in and nipped at the back of his neck, his hold firm but not rough, gentle now that they had the luxury of being in a bed._

_His alpha stretched over him, planting a hand on the pillow, their hips flushed together._

I didn’t know I needed this, _Francis thought as he drowned in the scent of their mating, and when his alpha changed the angle of his fuck, it was as if a star burst inside of him, making him scream his pleasure onto the sheets.  He felt shattered by orgasm, his hips swivelling to accommodate the knot, the muscles inside of his fluttering and squeezing to milk alpha seed. They swayed together, their pleasures were inextricably linked, and when Max turned his face for a difficult kiss, Francis—_

* * *

“Hey.”

Charles head snapped up with what he was sure was a deer-caught-in-headlights look. He practically squeaked when he saw his boyfriend glancing down at him with a small smirk, “Er...hi!”

He distracted Erik with a kiss when he sat down, and got distracted himself when the other man cupped his cheek and deepened it into something warm and breathy. “Mmmm…”

Erik laughed lowly, pulling away, but not before dropping a peck at the tip of Charles’ nose.

Charles blinked dreamily. “What were we talking about?”

“Were we talking?”

“I don’t remember.”

His boyfriend’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. “What were you reading? You looked intense.”

“Just some...biology.” _With alpha/beta/omega dynamics. Heat. Semen. Knotting. All my shame._

Thankfully Erik dropped the subject, preferring to sneak a sip of Charles’ mug, making a face as he tasted the sugar-cream-tea concoction that Charles had a habit of ordering. “I’ll never understand how you can make really good coffee when you hardly drink it.”

“I just follow the recipe,” Charles defended, taking his drink back. “Anyone could do it. And anyway, you take yours black. It’s a waste of my talent, I tell you. I could make you a chocolate creme frappuccino drizzled in caramel with the sprinkles and everything, but you choose the boring black.”

Erik grinned, taking another sip anyway. Charles took the mug from him when he was done, pointedly raising an eyebrow. “I prefer to think of it as energy-conserving. Make coffee, put it in a cup and I’m good to go.”

“How plebian! Do you take your men like you take your coffee?”

Erik smiled and wrapped his arm around Charles’ waist, taking his bag from him as they exited the cafe together. It was a cloudy day out, though it didn’t look dark enough for rain. Perfect for a date and an excuse to tuck Charles’ hand in his coat pocket. “I take my man just as he is, which is the best way to enjoy him.”

“Oh,” Charles simply said, surprised and flattered. “For someone who takes his coffee black, you’re rather sweet when you talk.”

Erik pretended to wince. “That’s the first time I’d been called out on that.” Charles laughed and dragged him closer by the lapels of his coat. Erik thought he smelled wonderful, like sugar and tea and warm skin.

“You’re such an idiot,” Charles grinned, before stretching on his toes for a kiss.

* * *

something-atarsus shared a link:

**Dirty Bookshelves by Homosuperior**

Summary: Francis Pembroke is an omega getting on in his years. He thinks he’ll never meet a compatible alpha and has begun to resign himself to his books and his tea. As fate would have it, young Max Eisenhart comes into the bookstore just before closing time, and Francis would be worried about the shelves if he weren’t too busy being fucked silly against them.

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Knotting, Claiming, Heat/Mating Cycles, Smut, PWP

Comment: My entry for FapFicRec Friday. Homosuperior manages to break my heart and remake it (and then some) in the span of 8,000 words. The writing, of course, is exquisite and emotional, and the smut is A+++! I particularly liked the older!virgin!X with a younger!Magneto. We need more age difference fics!

_8 notes_

* * *

Erik’s productivity had been going down ever since he started seeing Charles. On one hand, getting laid regularly was doing great things for his stress levels. On the other, Erik was just so happy and generally blissed out he honestly couldn’t give a damn about anything.

There was, however, the matter of keeping Charles and Emma from meeting, because the beautiful and indomitable ice bitch Erik had for a best friend had a habit of scaring away boyfriends.

“You can’t hide him forever, Er-bear,” Emma raised a perfectly lined eyebrow, halfway through another inquisition.

“Hide who, Em-kat?” He asked blandly, matching her dripping sarcasm word for word.

“Don’t be daft. Your cute little boy toy is who.”

Erik’s phone chimed as if summoned, singing, “ _I wanna see your peacock-cock-cock, your peacock!”_ Emma burst out in cackles, because god forbid she do something as dainty as politely _giggle_.

“Are you shitting me?”

“Charles thinks he’s funny,” Erik tried and failed to frown at his phone. Charles’ sunny smile flashed on the screen, and Erik’s heart did a flip. He flapped a hand vaguely at Emma’s direction and took the call.

“Hey,” he answered softly. He could hear Emma scoffing in the background irritatedly, checking her cuticles.

 _“Hello, love,”_ Charles greeted, equally as soft.

“What’s up?”

_“Oh...nothing, really. I just had a bit of downtime between classes. I hope I’m not bothering you.”_

“Not at all. I wasn’t doing anything either.”

_“God, I hope I don’t sound needy. I don’t want to be that kind of boyfriend. I just...missed you. I know it sounds silly.”_

“No, it’s fine. I’m happy you called.”

 _“Me too.”_ And there was something about the tone of Charles’ voice that tugged the corners of Erik’s mouth upwards. Even through those two small syllables, Erik knew Charles was smiling.

“Hey, listen. Wanna come over to my place later?”

_“Oh! Are you sure? It’s a school night.”_

“It’s Friday night. You don’t have any early classes tomorrow, do you?”

_“But you do.”_

“I’ll be fine. Come over, please.”

 _“Well, when you ask like that…”_ Erik could practically imagine Charles biting his lip to contain his smile before murmuring, “ _Okay. I’ll definitely be **coming** tonight_.”

“Did you just—” He was interrupted by Charles’ laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

 _“I’m_ your _ridiculous.”_

By the time Erik ended the call, both of Emma’s eyebrows were raised. “Never did I ever think…”

“What?” He demanded, instantly defensive. She rolled her eyes, but her smirk never fell from her face.

“Nothing, sugar. Did you manage to read Patrelli’s homework?”

Erik blinked. “What homework.”

“You boob, the sixty page piece of propaganda he’s going to quiz us about!”

“...Ah, fuck.”

Emma reached into her bag and passed him her tablet. “Well I suppose I could lend you my copy. Ugh, I’m such a good friend. Aren’t you lucky to have me, Er-bear?”

Erik glanced at her dryly as she snatched his phone to scroll through his pictures while his hands were full. He hadn’t even known she knew the password. “Yeah, the luckiest.”

* * *

Charles arrived at nine-thirty, just as Erik was about to finish a particularly difficult paragraph.

“Honey, I’m home!” he called jokingly.

Erik greeted him by pulling him in by the waist and refreshing the hickey on his neck, and somehow between play-fighting, making out and tripping over the most ridiculous things (“I swear that coffee table wasn’t there a minute ago.”) they’d managed to settle on the couch, the endless kisses turning soft and quiet, receding into simply holding each other. Erik really couldn’t help falling into Charles like this every time they came together.

“How was your day?”

Erik made a noncommittal noise from where he nuzzled against the crook of Charles’ neck.

“Really?”

“Mm.”

“Nice to know. This conversation is really stimulating by the way.”

“Mm.”

Charles’ shoulder shook with his chuckling. Erik smiled against the cloth of his shirt, his hands sneaking down to grab at Charles’ arse. “Sorry, just a bit tired.”

“Oh, poor darling,” Charles cooed. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Well…”

Charles winked at him and gently nibbled at his bottom lip, his warm, warm hand cupping the sides of Erik’s neck. His lips slid across Erik’s jawline to his ear, whispering, “Let’s move this to the bedroom, shall we?” He yelped when Erik grabbed him by the rump and stood up, his arms automatically coming up around Erik’s neck. “Stop it, I’m going to fall!”

“Stop squirming, I’m not gonna drop you.”

Charles bit Erik’s shoulder when he’d been deposited on the bed. “You’re a caveman.”

“Ooga booga,” Erik said, deadpan. Charles laughed and kissed him ardently.

Yeah, productivity was going down, Erik thought absently, thinking back to the papers he had to read, the electrical project he still had to plan, and the half-baked chapter of his latest piece of fanfiction. But Charles made him happy, and somehow that fact outweighed everything else.

* * *

Erik was going to be late if he didn’t get his butt moving in fifteen minutes. Charles looked up from his cocoon of bedsheets to find his boyfriend hopping around with one leg in half his trousers.

“Erik?”

“Hi,” he greeted, finally conquering his clothes and zipping up. Charles was loathe to see him all covered up, but it was necessary for...public decency, he supposed.

“I’ll make you coffee,” he offered, yawning.

“It’s fine. I gotta go.”

“Mmmkay.”

“See you in two hours!” Before Charles could comprehend it, Erik had dropped a kiss on his cheek and walked out the door. Charles had the option of going back to bed, but experiencing the flurry of Hurricane Erik had jolted his brain to waking.

Of course, the first thing he did was check Tumblr.

He scrolled through his backlog and checked his askbox (empty, of course) and was about to turn his phone off to make himself some tea when a new reblog by Homosuperior caught his eye. She had written something to accompany a picture that looked vague enough to be X.

_...The buzz of his mind is calm, a cocoon of rest and peace, and as you sit at the foot of the bed, you realize that not once have you ever been so tethered to one soul. Even now with him so close, your body is aching to stretch alongside him, to share the heat of your existence and have his in return._

For some reason, this reminded him of Erik. Charles could feel his mouth automatically curling into a smile at the thought of the man. The words were so lovely and heartfelt, Charles felt like something inside him was melting. You couldn’t duplicate this kind of sentiment, and to have such a command of words was truly a talent.

Charles reblogged the picture with the small snippet, adding a brief comment on it. Then he made himself some tea and waited for Erik to come home so he could hold him the way he suddenly needed to.

* * *

Erik discreetly checked his phone in the middle of class to see how well his snippet was being received. It had been a spur-of-the-moment thing, seeing the picture and having Charles right beside him, so similar in hair and feature. At the moment, he couldn’t _not_ write something, and it was worth the frenzy of rushing to class. Every word of it, despite it being fanfiction, was genuine. Sometimes Erik scared himself shitless with thoughts that this love affair was going far too fast to be real.

Braincoinxoxo had liked and reblogged it, as did Phoenixrising and Hulahoophavoc, fandom friends who also happened to mod the kinkmeme. There were countless other likes and reblogs but the tags were uninteresting. There was one comment, however, that made him smile.

 **something-atarsus  **reblogged your post and added:

_Oh, to have a man look at me that way! Lovely, as always <3_

* * *

Charles choked on his tea when he received a new notification.

 **Homosuperior** is now following you. Swoon!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Homosuperior = Erik  
> Something-Atarsus = Charles  
> Guess who Braincoinxoxo is ;)  
> 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Erik and Charles' Internet personas meet each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really funny how delayed this chapter was because I too had gotten distracted by a relationship. Life imitates art indeed. Anyway, have fun, have at it, more shenanigans to come!

“Erik, you look like death warmed over.”

“Urgh.”

“I’m serious, you’re turning really pale,” Emma placed a hand on his cheek, and he could even barely register the sensation over the darkening of his vision.

“I think...I’m passing out.”

“Well shit.”

“You got candy on you?”

“Just the sugar-free kind.”

“Damn.”

“What, you forget to eat or something?”

“Yeah.”

Emma frowned at him before packing up. She zipped Erik’s backpack up for him and helped him up, and Erik was surprised by the way she slung his arm around her shoulders, keeping him steady.

“You’re really stupid, you know that?”

“I know, I know.” If he weren’t feeling so bad, he’d have glared at the classmates gawking at them as they left in the middle of a lecture. Luckily, they were seated at the side of the room and it wasn’t too much of a hassle to hobble out.

“I really mean that in the monumental, catastrophic way,” Emma continued. “What if you were alone when you passed out?”

“I’ve managed in the past. One time, I slept on the floor in the library during exam week. Someone tucked my phone in my pocket for me with a piece of candy.”

“Sure.” Emma rolled her eyes. “And my life is a fanfic.”

“I’m not making this shit up.”

“Whatever you say, Er-bear. You should feel terrible for making a lady escort you. It’s supposed to be the other way around.”

“What lady? I don’t see any lady around. Oh, did you mean Quested?”

The student passing them by shot them a dark look, before flipping his admittedly gorgeous waterfall of hair over his shoulder. Emma snorted and slapped Erik’s bottom, making him yelp.

“Hands off the booty! That’s exclusive.”

Emma rolled her eyes and dumped him on one of the plastic chairs once they arrived at the cafeteria. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you dreamed your boyfriend up. Honestly, you dweeb, I’ve never even met the guy.”

“It’s called self-preservation. I’m trying to hide him from your ragged claws.”

“Rude! You know my claws are always well-manicured. Now stay put while I get your skinny ass a disgusting calorie-drenched cheeseburger.”

Erik folded his arms in front of him and napped (passed out) until he felt the table shift a few minutes later. Emma pushed a burger at him, and he stared at it blankly. “That’s not kosher.”

“And you became strictly Jewish when? Eat before I sign you up for Abercrombie.”

“That’s a lot coming from an underwear model,” Erik scoffed, before digging into his food. At this state of hunger, even cafeteria food tasted amazing. Emma’s mouth twitched in what would have been a smile.

“When was the last time you fed yourself? Or slept?”

“I don’t remember. Midterms has been killing me.”

Emma shook her head and tapped her nails against the plastic of the table. “I can see that. I should tell your boy he’s not taking enough care of you.”

“Charles has his own problems to worry about. I haven’t even seen him in two weeks,” Erik said. He didn’t want to admit that he felt like pining all the time, that he missed the cuddling as much as the sex. And sometimes he just wanted someone to pet his hair while he cried like an over-caffeinated baby over the project he was supposed to submit by next week.

“Aw, poor babies,” Emma cooed. Erik irritatedly batted her hand away.

* * *

 

 _:( I miss you,_ Charles texted. _can I come over later?_

Erik was halfway through a really intense scene for his current chapter. As much as he wanted to, he knew he’d get nothing done if Charles was within ten feet of him. _Sorry, baby_ , he replied. _Not today. Really busy. Raincheck for tomorrow?_

He cracked his knuckles and set his phone down, going back to his work. The X-Men Big Bang was within three weeks. If he didn’t send his first draft in by then, he wasn’t qualified to join anymore. He’d been working on this fic on and off for about a year now; as far as his skill-set went, this was stretching his endurance and ability to portray realistic human emotion.

His phone buzzed. _Alright, darling_ , Charles had texted. _Good luck._ And here he had inserted a kissey smiley. Erik tried not to grin too widely.

He had Skype running in the background and jumping on his screen with a bunch of notifications. He was hardly surprised with the intellectual discourse happening there.

 **hoolahoophavoc** : I’m just saying—dicks

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : Tallywhacker

 **Braincoinxoxo** : Mayonnaise gun

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : Great spring

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : OMG

 **Braincoinxoxo** : Schlongdongadoodle

 **Braincoinxoxo** : YOGURT FLINGER

 **Braincoinxoxo** : STEAMIN' SEMEN TRUCK

 **Braincoinxoxo** : HEAT SEEKING MOISTURE MISSILE

 **hoolahoophavoc** : i’m fucking crying seb wtf

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : jfc this needs to go on tumblr

 **Homosuperior:** I think I’m just gonna turn around now. /slowly backs away

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : nO COME BACK

 **Homosuperior** : :/

 **hoolahoophavoc** : Homooooo! i need crackfic where X uses all of these nicknames during sexytiems. PLS

 **Homosuperior** : WHY

 **Braincoinxoxo** : because of reasons, that’s why

 **Homosuperior** : I’m busy with BB. Go write the thing yourself.

 **hoolahoophavoc** : i could if i would, but i can only art

 **Homosuperior** : so art it.

 **hoolahoophavoc** : pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassseeeeeeeee

 **Homosuperior** : fffffa;sldkfjalsdjfh

 **Homosuperior** : no

 **Homosuperior** : I’ll think about it.

 **hoolahoophavoc** : ur the bomb

 **Homosuperior** : And you’re spoiled. You’re all spoiled. I’m stuck writing mirror smut specifically because you requested it.

 **Braincoinxoxo** : thank

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : :3

* * *

Erik snorted to himself and added the crackfic to the ridiculously long things he ought to write.

* * *

 

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : You guys know something-atarsus over at tumblr?

 **Braincoinxoxo** : ye, why?

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : I’m adding Tar to the chat. Behave, he’s really shy.

 **hoolahoophavoc** : manflesh.gif

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : [added something-atarsus to X-Men First Ass]

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : Havoc omfg

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : hey Tar! welcome to chat!

 **something-atarsus** : Hello everyone! It’s nice to meet you.

 **hoolahoophavoc** : same here man. i’m havoc

 **Braincoinxoxo** : Hello, Tar. You can call me Seb, or Brain. Whatever you like :>

 **something-atarsus** : Hello, Havoc, Seb!

 **something-atarsus** : Oh gosh, it’s amazing to finally be talking to you guys. I’m a fan of your work.

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : Awwwww you total cutie. Isn’t he adorable, guys? you remember that kissing scene manip? Tar did that!

 **hoolahoophavoc** : oh hey! i remember now! that was great!

 **something-atarsus** : a;sldkjfadf thanks so much! That’s a lot coming from an artist like you :D

 **hoolahoophavoc** : Aw shucks :’D

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : Homo, I know you’re online, come say hi.

 **Homosuperior** : LOL sorry. Got caught up writing smut. Hi, Tar.

 **something-atarsus** : [is typing]

 **something-atarsus** : [is typing]

 **something-atarsus** : [is typing]

 **something-atarsus** : hi

* * *

 

From the other side of the Internet, Charles groaned and mentally planned out his epitaph. “Here lies Charles Xavier, death by humiliation.”

Hi. A measly little “hi”. Although, he supposed, what else was one to say when they met their favorite fanfic author of all time? I am in love with your work? Please teach me your ways? I want to crack open your brain and bask in your gloriousness? All of the above?

 **Homosuperior:** :D

 **something-atarsus** : Please don’t be weirded out, but I have been a huge fan of yours ever since you wrote that alternate timeline fic on the kinkmeme.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck Charles please step away from the keyboard before you embarrass yourself further abort abort—

 **Homosuperior** : Oh wow. Thank you so much. That’s such an old work of mine.

 **something-atarsus** : I may have commented and offered my firstborn. It was that good. You’re an amazing writer.

 **Homosuperior:** Tar, please. I’m blushing.

 **Braincoinxoxo:** I’m calling it now. I ship it.

 **something-atarsus** : Oh! Hahaha! The boyfriend would object.

 **Homosuperior** : Pity. Well, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. You sound really adorable.

 **something-atarsus** : O-oh my. Thank you?

 **hoolahoophavoc** : yeeeeeee

* * *

 

Erik minimized his window and got back to his document. If Charles knew the shenanigans his Internet persona got up to, he wouldn’t be able to live it down. He started a new page and wrote:

_“Look,” Max said, “I never wanted things to fall apart. I still love you, I think, for what it’s worth. But Francis...It’s going to take time. You’re not who I thought you were. I don’t even know what’s real anymore.”_

_Francis squeezed the hard cast on his arm and took a deep breath. “I’ve lied about a lot of things. My job, my family. Even my name. But never once have I lied about loving you. I married you with my whole soul and heart. Please believe me, Max.”_

_“If you loved me, why’d you leave me? No text, no call for six months? I thought you were_ dead _.”_

_“I was compromised! It’s part of the risk of being who I am.”_

_“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”_

_“I didn’t want to worry you.”_

_“Fuck you! I worry about you anyway! If you’re eating well, if your leg is bothering you. Don’t you know how crazy I went waiting for you to come home? And then someone knocks on my door and tells me you’ve been off the radar for a week? What am I supposed to think?”_

_“Darling, please calm down. It’s not bad for your blood pressure.”_

_“To hell with that. Don’t condescend to me. I’m done.”_

_“Max—”_

Erik pursed his mouth and let out an unimpressed breath. He was so off his game today.

* * *

 

 **hoolahoophavoc:** so

 **hoolahoophavoc** : what are y’all up to?

 **Braincoinxoxo** : I’ve got work in a bit, see you guys later

 **hoolahoophavoc** : bye seb

 **something-atarsus** : I’m catching up on fic.

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : Homework. You guys, you should really start any paperwork with “first of all...BITCH” it really works!

 **Homosuperior** : I’ll try that sometime. You have time to beta?

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : Fuck yeah give it to me

 **Homosuperior** : https://docs.google.com/document/d/104uVJOUgviePFfICXZ3jDdENs3JPOyS6oCvS73kUChE/

 **something-atarsus** : Can I beta too?

 **Homosuperior:** Only if I have your firstborn.

 **something-atarsus** : Deal.

* * *

 

Charles smiled giddily and opened the document. As disappointed as he was that Erik was too busy to spend time with him, befriending Homosuperior and the other popular people on fandom was a great second. And right on his computer screen was the rough draft of Homosuperior’s most recent fic. He’d have a part in shaping this masterpiece (because surely whatever Homosuperior touched turned to gold) and he was ecstatic to have the privilege.

 **something-atarsus:** THAT WAS BRILLIANT WORK

 **Homosuperior** : You think so?

 **something-atarsus:** I know so. The twist at the end—genius.

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : I agree. SO GOOD HOMO.

 **something-atarsus** : I wish men could write gay smut half as well. I think it’s unfortunate that almost all of our writers are female and a lot of them get the anatomy of sex wrong.

 **something-atarsus** : Not that I’m saying your work isn’t accurate, Homo, you’re bloody amazing.

 **Homosuperior:** Thanks? I’m a guy though?

 **something-atarsus** : Oh my god. I am so sorry. I probably sounded like a right arse.

 **Homosuperior** : No, no, I get you. It is rare to find a male writer in fandom.

 **Jean (Phoenixrising)** : And now you’ve found each other. Awwww. Matchmade in heaven.

 **Homosuperior** : If I weren’t taken either, I’d totally come on to Tar.

 **something-atarsus** : !!

 **hoolahoophavoc** : yeeeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love.


End file.
